Getting towards that time of year here’s some christmas cheer

A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father, “Dad,

how many kinds of breasts are there?”

The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.”

“Onions?”

“Yes, see them and they make you cry.”

This infuriated the wife and daughter, so the daughter said, “Mum , how many kind of penises are there?”

The mother, surprised, smiles, and looks at her husband and answers, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man’s twenties, his penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it Is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree?”

“Yes, dead from the root up & the balls are there for decoration only!”

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Suicide Bomber Barbie

Suicide Bomber Barbie

You go girl! you’ll like this one Singo. take her down to lawn bowls as a date on cup day….

Need some advice

I’ve suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out ‘with the girls’ a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them”. I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my girlfriend. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my car which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was whilst crouched behind my car that I noticed rust around my rear wheel arch.

Anyway my question is does anyone know a good place to get some body work done for my car?

Wordpress comment spam

I’ve been using wordpress for a while now tonight i got home to find that this weekend, i’ve been comment spammed, there were over 2000 bullshit comments in here, anyway i’m using this plugin now.

download it below.
WPblacklist

it works really well and i’ve cleaned up the existing comments with it too.